Suicidal thoughts

Also called Suicidal ideation

Common, survivable, and treatable. Asking about them directly is protective, not dangerous.

What it is

Around 5,600 people die by suicide in the UK each year. Around three quarters are men, and it is the leading cause of death in men under 50.

Suicidal thoughts themselves are far more common than most people realise, and having them is not the same as being about to act. They exist on a spectrum from a passive wish not to wake up to a specific plan.

The myth that needs killing: asking somebody about suicide does not put the idea in their head. The evidence is consistent and it points the other way. Asking directly reduces distress and opens the door.

Signs you might notice

Talking about being a burden, about having no future, or about people being better off without them.

Withdrawal, giving away possessions, putting affairs in order.

A sudden calm after a period of despair. This is a warning sign, not a recovery, and it is the one most often misread.

Increased alcohol or drug use. Reckless behaviour.

Searching for methods, or acquiring means.

But many people show nothing. That is why asking matters more than watching.

How it can affect day-to-day life

Access to means is one of the few things that reliably changes outcomes. Suicidal crises are often short-lived, and putting distance and time between a person and a method saves lives.

Men are less likely to seek help, which is why the people around them noticing is disproportionately important.

Bereavement by suicide carries a very high risk for those left behind, and support for them is frequently absent.

Supporting someone well

Ask directly, using the word. "Are you thinking about suicide?" Not "you're not thinking of doing anything silly". The direct question gets a truthful answer far more often.

Listen without rushing to fix. Being heard is what most people need in that moment.

Make means less available. Ask about medication in the house, and hold onto it. Ask about other methods and reduce access. This is practical and it works.

Do not promise secrecy. Say plainly that you will keep them safe and that may mean involving someone else.

Stay with them, or make sure somebody does, during an acute crisis.

Make a safety plan together while they are calmer: warning signs, reasons for living, who to call, what to remove.

Look after yourself afterwards. Supporting somebody through this is heavy and you need your own support.

Where to get help

Call 999 or go to A and E if someone is at immediate risk.

Samaritans: free, 116 123, any time of day or night. Papyrus HOPELINE247 for under-35s: 0800 068 4141. Shout: text SHOUT to 85258. CALM: 0800 58 58 58.

Call 111 and select the mental health option for urgent but not immediate help.